Demonstrated unparalleled perseverance by swimming in (and winning his heat) the 100m freestyle in the 2000 Sydney Olympics. He had only trained for the 50m. Eric “the Eel” swam at an historically slow rate in an empty pool, bringing a crowd of thousands to their feet. Nary could one conceive of such an epic display of Olympian spirit. Truly, Eric redefined, conceptually, “Just Do[ing] It”. This would be an ad for Nike which would sans doute result in a skyrocket in banana hammock, goggle(s), and swimcap sales. Not only the comedy, but the raw, unadulterated pathos of Eric’s sluggish heat would appeal to the hearts and minds of viewers American and abroad alike. Success is guaranteed. We will print money. Might even appeal to non-swimmers more than actual swimmers because those pretentious swim-nerds would probably be offended by how slowly he swam.